Forward & Backward …

This past week I began cleaning out some old art portfolio cases I had from college.  I hardly remember those days, some 30 plus years ago now.   When I was young and had dreams, that never became a reality.  Sometimes I wonder what my life would had been like if I had gone to art school instead of college? or if I hadn’t worked in New York City; or if I moved to California when I had the opportunity.  None of those things happened though, I left college because of a boyfriend, who is now just a mere memory and not a fond one. Then I worked in Manhattan, which is where I met my first husband.  I always thought that meeting someone who made a good living was what life was really about. Growing up, we never really had much, so I thought if I met someone who could provide for me, I would never have to worry.  As I came to learn, money doesn’t make people happy.  It just makes unhappy people more comfortable in their unhappiness.

I do know that from my first husband came the most important aspect of my life, I became a mom to a beautiful baby girl.  She got me through many difficult and lonely times in my life and I thank God (and my ex-husband) for her every day, because without him, she would not be my daughter.

Years later, I met Brian (my second husband) who is the complete opposite from my first husband.  It’s amazing how 15 years and wisdom can make you open your eyes to see what is truly important in life.  Love, security, respect, honesty and friendship are all things I received this time, well worth the wait!  I believe in most aspects of my life, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.  I have a loving husband, an amazing daughter and a wonderful son-in-law, a few very good friends, and let’s not forget McKenzie.  What else could anyone want?

In retrospect, my only regret is that I didn’t follow my dream of going to art or design school. Many years later, Brian, would give me a camera as a Christmas gift, and that is how it all began.  I became this photography crazed person. Reading, watching and learning every aspect of photography that I could soak in. I am self taught, but always reading and learning.  Photography is something that is just mine, but also gives me the ability to share my art with others.  Recently, I find myself at another crossroad, what type of photography expresses what is lying inside me? I think about this often, and still I am never quite sure.  However, I do know that some days I feel that photographing flowers and other days being at the beach to photograph a sunset makes me happy.  So why choose only one type of photography, why not, just photograph what makes me happy on any given day? Some may think that in order to be perfect in your art, you need to choose only one avenue. I think that if I am happy in what I’m doing, no matter the subject, it will show and others can see and feel what I am feeling when I photograph something.  After all, isn’t that why anyone pursues the arts, to express what is truly inside them?

I shared a variety of photographs this week, no one subject, because I felt like I was undecided and all over the place with my thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes, I guess we all go through a bit of self-doubt and are unsure of what we are and where we are going, and this was one of those weeks.  Whatever the reason, I hope you enjoyed the variety.

I always look forward to your comments and/or questions, so I hope to hear from you.

Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to sharing more next week . . .